And now for a lesson in real life. This is Recipe #18 “Cajun Portobello Sandwich with Avocado and Rémoulade.”
Lily has to work very early mornings sometimes (for events). She was up at 4:00 on Wednesday, and again at 5:30 on Thursday. So, knowing that she’d be tired, I thought I’d spruce up the house and make her a sandwich for dinner. The Cajun portobellos in this recipe are the same as the ones we’d already made (for Recipe #6), and I remembered that they take kind of a long time but that they aren’t difficult. Seemed like a good idea.
Fast forward to me eating a sandwich at 10:00. Dang. Real life.
Anyway, here’s what you do. You buy yourself four big portobellos and slice them up into long strips. Then, you make a marinade. It’s relatively simple: you sauté shallots and garlic for a few minutes before adding white wine, white wine vinegar, water, and Cajun seasoning. That simmers for 20 minutes.
Unless you were smart and made this ahead of time, now is when you make a rémoulade. Not too bad, since you’re just putting a lot of different ingredients in a food processor. Those ingredients are: vegan mayo, ketchup, mustard, hot sauce, vegan Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, salt, capers, shallots, parsley, and red bell pepper.
Pretty. And spicy. (Notice that I forgot the shallots, but then remembered after the picture was taken.)
Moving on with the mushrooms, you put the portobello slices into the pot with the marinade for just one minute. Then you dump the whole thing into something shallow (I used a baking dish), cover it, and let it sit for an hour.
Shortly before this, Lily said to me, “Did you remember that this has to marinate for an hour?”
Uhh…not so much? This was about the time I gave up on making her dinner. Fiancée fail.
When the mushrooms are done marinating, you press them with a paper towel so they’re not too too wet, and sprinkle on more Cajun seasoning. Chef Tal wants you to cook them in a cast iron skillet, but we don’t have that, and our nonstick pan worked just fine. They go straight into the pan, no extra oil or anything, and cook for a couple minutes on each side (“until blackened”).
To make the finished sandwich, you get a nice sandwich roll (Whole Foods had good ones) and slice it in half. You spread rémoulade on one half of the roll, and top with romaine lettuce, tomato and avocado before adding portobello slices. The recipe supposedly makes four sandwiches, but it looks like there are enough mushrooms to feed a small army. (Just saying: four sandwiches, four portobellos….were you planning on eating an entire portobello mushroom for lunch?)
[Irrelevant: is it just me, or does this sandwich look like a Komodo dragon in this picture? With a tomato tongue sticking out. See its face?]
So finally, somewhat beleaguered and kinda guilty, I got to try the thing. I was freaked out by all the spiciness (hot sauce in the rémoulade, lots of Cajun seasoning on the portobellos), but it’s pretty well-balanced. The lettuce and tomato are cool and refreshing, the avocado is sweet and fatty, and then there’s bread. So all those things even out the heat. And the rémoulade is really yummy. Acidic and hot, creamy and savory from the magical ingredients in the Worcestershire. (Apparently you need shiitake mushrooms to fake anchovy flavor. Who knew?) The mushrooms are totally delicious, and they retain their essential mushroom-y earthy-ness but have a spicy savory punch to them.
Let’s be honest though. This isn’t going to make it onto my Best Of list.
Oh? What’s my Best Of list? You should know by now, I will use any excuse to make a list. I’ve been marking the recipes that I like enough to make again, and this sandwich (unlike the other two I’ve made so far) doesn’t make the cut. I’m not a huge Tabasco fan, because I feel like Tabasco has no flavor, just heat. And that’s kinda what this sandwich has going on: heat with no underlying flavor foundation. Or, it’s there, it’s just a bit…boring.
Back to my adorable fiancée: I packed her lunch. Carefully, in separate containers so as to avoid soggy bread, I put all the different elements of this sandwich into a sweet little lunch bag. Nicole – 1. Real Life – 0.
Up next, Recipe #19 “Tomato, ‘Mozzarella,’ and Pesto Panini.”
nocheesenoproblem 
Knowing what these faithful readers know about your lovely fiancee, Lily, we are in awe of your ability to get her to eat a mushroom of any kind. Is this a softening of a life-long stance? Or, did you leave the word “mushroom” out of any discussion or presentation, calling it only “portabella”, which sounds somewhat like an Italian lunchmeat? These sound good to the heat lovers among us. Sorry for the lactose-intolerant, however, as milk does tend to cool the fires of the over-spiced.
PS! Readers! If you are following along in your textbook, here’s what I suggest to make this sandwich appropriately delicious:
1) Toast the rolls. Unless they’re like, ridiculously fresh, you want them warm and toasty.
2) Put the rémoulade on both slices of bread. The recipe says one slice. Chef Tal is – gasp! – wrong on that one.
3) Make the mushrooms in advance. They only get better as they sit in your fridge.
That is all!